Falling Out of Old Patterns
This past weekend I offered my first yoga & meditation workshop, something I’ve intended to do for a very long time.
The theme was “Fall Out of Old Patterns,” and it incorporated practices from multiple lineages to investigate and unravel self-defeating patterns and lay the foundation for supportive new ones. These yoga, meditation and contemplative practices have been extraordinarily powerful in my own journey of healing and transformation, and I felt compelled to share them…
And at the same time I was working through some old self-defeating patterns of my own — namely self-doubt and related self-sabotaging action. I’d put extensive thought and self-practice into preparing the workshop content, yet in the week leading up I contemplated canceling it (in favor of attending another spiritual practice scheduled the same day!) After all, I didn’t think anyone would attend the workshop anyway — how would they, since I’d totally resisted promoting it. That kind of self-fulfilling spiral of resistance is so familiar…and oh so safe!
But here’s what happened. A week before the workshop, I happened to meet Laleh, another yoga teacher in the area who plays beautiful harmonium and mantra. She generously offered to play live music for any of my classes. I told her about the workshop, but immediately second guessed it — I was so sure no-one would come, and I was resistant to being witnessed by another teacher. But when she called to chat about the workshop we had the loveliest connection, and agreed that she would come and play.
She proceeded to promote the workshop widely, way more than I had myself, and several of the lovely beings who found their way there knew about the workshops through her posts.
That day we spent several hours going through the material and selecting chants. We set up the room in a circle with an altar of local, seasonal flowers and fruits at the center. We welcome the small, sweet group who arrived, then proceeded to share a practice that was so much more beautiful and powerful than I could have imagined—full of deep, cathartic release and potent, ecstatic recharge, fueled by the vibrations of Laleh’s music. The participants commented on how incredible our chemistry was in holding the space, that we should absolutely do more together. And no question, we will (stay tuned!)
These are just a few lessons:
Breaking old patterns starts with slowing & calming down. In order to see and work skillfully with old, self-defeating patterns, the first step is to counteract one of the most prevalent patterns we’re all stuck in — nervous system overdrive. Our workshop began with a 40 min Kundalini yoga practice designed to calm the adrenals and engage the parasympathetic nervous system. From there we were able to drop into a deep guided meditation followed by contemplative practices to clearly see and begin re-patterning self-defeating patterns of thought and action.
For my part, had I not been anchored in rigorous daily practice leading up to the workshop, I may well have succumbed to old fear-based patterns — either by cancelling the workshop or turning down Laleh’s offer — and the experience we were able to co-create would never have come to being. Daily practice enabled me to catch myself before reverting to old patterns and choose a different path.
Breaking old patterns takes a multi-pronged approach. The neural pathways in which our old patterns exist are deeply grooved, and re-patterning them takes tremendous work. So the more different tools we employ the more successful we can be. Our workshop incorporated yoga practice, guided meditation and visualization practices, journaling, partner dialogue/deep listening, a circle practice, and then a final, intense yoga and mantra practice to clear away the old patterns that were and create momentum for new pathways of thought and action. Each tool helps fill in the grooves of old neural pathways and chisel deeper into supportive new ones, and when overlaid change can happen even faster.
Breaking old patterns is never a linear path. For most of us, even when the intention to change a pattern is crystal clear and rock solid, we’ll end up launching forward on a new path and then meandering back towards our old behaviors. The first step in the practice, as I’ve been taught, is letting go of rigid expectations and of self-judgement when we lapse. If we’re too busy flogging ourselves for lapsing to find our way back onto our chosen path we’re likely to get stuck back in the vortex of the pattern we’re trying to leave behind. Practicing self-compassion can give us the space to acknowledge that we’ve veered off course and redirect ourselves back onto our chosen path with ease.
